You Do Not Complete Me

You do not complete me. - Sam Paul & Christina Swain

When you have Christ, you are complete. - Colossians 2:10 NLV

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Soul mate. Other half. The one… all names that I cannot call the man I’m marrying. I understand the sentiment of these titles, I do, but no one should be given that much responsibility to make me whole. The void in my heart was never meant to be filled by any one man. No matter how hard he tries to give me everything he can, I will still be empty. - Christina

To preface this, I will say that I am in no way offended by how my fiancé has chosen to express the reality of a relationship involving two entirely incomplete individuals. In my opinion, she’s right. No matter how much she desires to captivate me, complete me, smooth out my rough edges, she’s entirely hopeless in doing so. While at times she may motivate me to make changes in my life, there is a void and a space that ultimately she cannot fill. - Sam

What we’re trying to say is not supposed to be depressing or isolating. Rather, it points to the truth of the matter that only with Christ are we complete. Knowing this should be our greatest joy and comfort. We no longer have to feel the pressure of looking for love and purpose in someone else. We can have freedom in the Father’s love that allows us to have true relationship with another. - Christina

She’s right again folks. God has seen fit however, to gift me with an incredible woman with whom I get to spend the rest of my life. And, believe it or not, I found her on accident. Roughly a year before meeting Christina, I was given a dating philosophy coined by an amazing female mentor of mine. She said, “Chase after Jesus with absolutely everything you have, and when someone comes running up alongside you in pursuit of the same goal, maybe, just maybe invite them out for coffee.” I had come to a point in my life where dating had become exhausting and, in a way, seemed entirely pointless. I stopped dating, fixed my eyes on Jesus, and there she was. - Sam

When our hearts are completely filled by our Maker, they are also fully known by Him. This is the most vulnerable we will ever be, but in the end, results in the most abundance. Before I met Sam, I really did not know what I was looking for. That was because I was attempting to figure it out through my own feelings and reasoning. It wasn’t until I was lying in bed one night with a heavy heart and a confused mind that I surrendered my expectations and desires to God. It was only after that, my surrender, that He brought a man into my life that would best express Christ’s love to me. I could now reciprocate that love because I allowed it to complete me. - Christina

Our spouse is not equipped to complete us. Jesus has designed and crafted our hearts in a way that does not allow us to be complete without allowing Him to invade our hearts so radically that it compels us to live a life that puts Him at the center. I pray that I am pushing and motivating Christina to be the best image of God that she can be and I know she prays the same for me. As He did for Adam so many years ago, He sees that man should not be alone. He brought Eve alongside Adam and a lifelong companionship entered into existence. He wants the same connection for us. I can tell you that neither Christina nor I have all the answers, tips, or details, but our Savior does. If you seek completion, you must seek Him. - Sam

Sam Paul - Christ Follower, Son, Brother, Fiance', Intern, Graphic Designer, Leader

Christina Swain - Christ Follower, Daughter, Sister, Bride-to-Be, College Student, Upcoming Teacher, Leader